WOW WINE GAZETTE 6

Well Known "Art Dealer"Caught Not Cooking Chicken

Reports are percolating through the grapevine that photographic evidence has emerged of Ms C O Sullivan well known "Art Dealer" and Chicken Connoisseur caught cooking something other than chicken, at a secret location somewhere in Ireland.

Ms O Sullivan is rumoured to have to lived predominantly on chicken for the first 49 years of her life and it is only when eating out that she manages to diversify her diet and eat other foods.
When questioned about this Ms O Sullivan is quoted as saying" I am just too polite to insist on chicken when I am invited to other peoples houses so I just grin and bear having to eat other foods.
It is not that I don`t like cooking ,in fact I adore it but unfortunately, I have such a busy lifestyle running my International Company that, I sometimes have to let my friends do it .
The truth is that it just makes them so happy to cook for me that I don`t like to object!

Ms O Sullivan has long been the flag bearer of food standards in both Ireland and the USA and is credited with giving Michael Moore the idea for his Mc Donalds film "SUPER SIZE ME" when he overheard her now ground breaking question to a counter assistant in McDonalds "What is the least fattening thing on your menu"?

In terms of wine consumption she holds herself to the same high standards and has consistently drank Pinot Grigio for the last 31 years. She is considered one of the worlds leading authorities on this grape variety.Extensive research,into this very "complex" wine style and it`s service, has yielded several research papers. Her latest paper entitled " TapWater versus Bottled Water and their impact on the taste of Pinot Grigio"is considered even more groundbreaking that her controversial paper published in 2009 entitled "Pinot Grigio and its impact on liver function".She is currently working on a paper entitled ""That`s loads" ! Ah okay just a little bit more Pinot Grigio "which promises to be a revelation


Ms O Sullivan we salute you for your dedication!

wow wine gazette 5

    Man Caught Red  Boa`d  Handed Drinking Bad Wine

 As part of the WOW  girls ongoing battle to save the world from bad wine they have appointed Detective Sergeant Louise Carpenter to head up a crack unit dedicated  to stamping out the insidious practice of consuming crap wine.  Detective Carpenter formerly fronted  up the Head Shop investigation unit and brings with her a serious  reputation for her undercover skills.  During her tenure in that unit she is reputed to have infiltrated a complex labyrinth of these establishments successfully identifying the core hallucinogenics that were ultimately banned.

She has brought the same dedication to her new role using her undercover skills to embed herself within several dodgy bars and clubs reputed to be selling  the offensive liquid.She uses a blend of glamour coupled with brute force to convince unsuspecting patrons not to be lured into a life of bad wine.

"I know how easy it is to get sucked into this damaging lifestyle.  It starts with a sip of a really nasty wine in a club and rather than refusing to drink it there is peer pressure to just get it down your neck.  Life is too short to drink bad wine!", she is quoted as saying .

Her evangelical approach is already yielding results and she is frequently observed cautioning  nite club patrons if they attempt to purchase crap wine.  Failure to comply generally results in Detective Carpenter handcuffing the suspect to her wrist coupled with several stern words and  the brandishing of her  truncheon (pictured above).

To date the Detective has confined her investigation to  handsome, single, unattached  males between the age of 25 to35 and has stated that her ultimate objective is to exhaust every avenue in a bid to save these young men from themselves!
If  you are aware of anyone who fits these parameters and who may  need her help please send a full description, preferably with a flattering photo, to our confidential(!) blog and we will  get the intrepid Detective Sergeant Carpenter on the Case.

Happy Birthday Lou!

  CONSUME AND ENJOY IN MODERATION

http://wowireland.blogspot.com 
CELLARS,NAAS ROAD:DEVENEYS DUNDRUM:JUS DE VINE PORTMARNOCK:THE VINTRY RATHGAR

WoW GAZETTE 4

 Wine Prices Cut To The Bone By Emerging Markets!

 PICTURED ABOVE: MARCO REILLY , A TYPICAL CONSUMER IN THIS NEW MARKET

Concerns are growing within the wine industry regarding the emergence of new markets and the resultant inflationary impact on wine prices.

The WoW girls having observed this trend in their own shops decided to consult with their Chief Wine Economist Professor Deveney who stated."There was a time when this market segment did not have the discretionary income to allow them to buy wine however they have assumed much greater Socio-Economic importance and  many of them now have their own house, the latest in designer clothing and  regularly get their hair done not to mention manicures and pedicures. It is hard to comprehend the poverty gap in this market.You have the privileged classes mentioned above and yet many others still sleep rough or at best in a outbuilding or shelter.”

At the top end of the market these new consumers tend to favour very plump meaty reds preferably with gamey flavours and with good bite and power so it is these wines that fetch the highest prices.They like a well aged style and  frequently like to bury away a few bottles and go back to them when they are fully mature.

In terms of service requirements  they can be a bit clumsy,quite demanding,  are used to getting their own way but appear to be extremely loyal almost to the point of habit in their buying patterns.

WOW WINE GAZETTE 2

ALTITUDE AND ITS IMPACT ON SPARKLING WINES
Extensive research conducted by two of the four Wow girls has proved that altitude is a contributing factor to the enjoyment of sparkling wines .Evelyn Jones & ;Julie Cullen  travelled all the way to Austria and conducted a week’s exhausting  research into the subject and concluded definitively, using the latest oenological research, that fizz is even more fun when consumed at altitudes of 1300 metres or more.Further field tests confirmed that fizz  is best consumed in a  relatively stationary position and that consumption of fizz is not advisable whilst wearing skies,dancing on bar counters in ski boots or riding in chair lifts. Conclusions drawn by Cullen and Jones are the result of years of travel to various altitudes and insurance is kindly provided by Lloyds of London.

WOW WINE GAZETTE 1

Stop press!

The First World Class Mobile Tasting Unit Is Formed.


Four pals sit in a dark corner of the Italian quarter sipping Prosecco and
talking quietly.
To the public at large they just look like 4 ordinary girls having a
chat …little does the world know that they are observing a top
secret meeting.
Who would believe that they were actually witnessing the formation of
the first World Class mobile tasting unit cleverly disguised as 4 smart ladies.

Their weapons are the palate and the glass .
Their mission is to fight to save the world from bad wine everywhere.They dedicate themselves to protect good wines ,to champion great wines and to relentlessly expose mediocre wine.




Pictured right: The Original Smart Lady (1920-1933)

WoW Gazette Volume 3

From left to right: Ruth Deveney, Clare Deveney, Evelyn Jones, Reggie Walsh (standing)and Julie Cullen, pictured at Chateau Lynch-Bages

LUMINOSITY AND ITS IMPACT ON THE APPRECIATION OF WINE

The WOW girls continued their wine research into the summer of 2009 with a trip to the Bordeaux region of France. Their topic this time explored the correlation between luminosity and wine appreciation.

A number of controlled experiments were conducted over a three day period. This involved travelling to various locations throughout the region at different times of the day and night in order to ascertain if the appreciation of wine was enhanced by sunlight. Further controls were applied within the WOW group with some members of the experimental team tasting in the shade and others tasting in direct sunlight.

Experiments were also conducted using artificial indoor light with some team members even checking out the impact of dawn light on wine appreciation.  The team concluded definitively that the time of day did indeed impact on wine appreciation.

Team members found that wine was less appealing early in the morning, more appealing at lunchtime and very appealing after sunset.  However the team concluded that wine appreciation diminished rapidly under artificial light culminating in very little appreciation between midnight and the dawn light hours.

Ms Reggie Walsh (pictured standing) a luminosity expert on  secondment  from NASA ,was  quoted as saying: “ the research while intensive and intellectually draining  had proved rewarding and fulfilling. I am just so glad to be able to do such important work for the wine industry”.

Such dedication was lauded by the WOW team members.

“We are so proud of Reggie. She worked the hardest, taking on the most risky late night experiments" gushed Ruth Deveney.

”Would you believe some of Reggie’s locations were so dangerous that the police were nearly called by concerned onlookers.” whispered Clare Deveney in awe.

”I had the privilege of working on some artificial light experiments with Reggie and she really proved she was up to the job. “confirmed Julie Cullen excitedly.

”Yes it is true! She rang me early one morning after  I had missed a dawn light experiment and asked me when I had joined the Legion of Mary? I reminded her that at the early stages of that  particular experiment she had asked me to organize an  end of experiment  party and that she had committed the equivalent of The Gilbeys 150TH Anniversary budget to it .Thanks Emilion Reggie!” said a thrilled Evelyn Jones.

ALTITUDE AND ITS IMPACT ON SPARKLING WINES
Supplementary research from WoW Gazette Volume 2

The spring 2008 research concerning altitude and its impact on sparkling wine was further expanded on the summer 2009 Bordeaux trip with the following conclusions:

• The aqua blue light reflected from swimming pools built at altitude does in fact enhance the sense of luxury of drinking champagne.

• Champagne is much more enjoyable at black tie events which involve ascending many steps in high heels in order to reach it.

• Champagne is not enjoyable when looking at girls in sparkly gunas leaping around a marquee brandishing stringed instruments.